Monday April 23, 2007

Bad Ideas:
1) swerving into your blind spot at 65 mph when I AM IN YOUR BLIND SPOT.  In a rental car I'd picked up less than 5 hours prior.  Gee, it's been a while since I've had the opportunity to go from 70 mph to 0 in a matter of seconds and spin out into the next lane.  I didn't miss that at all.  Once I realized that no, I did not wreck my rental, my annoyance at the other (negligent) driver dissipated into annoyance that I didn't know where the horn was on the rental (hey, sometimes it's not just on the steering wheel- my first car had a horn button on the console), so I could not properly express my appreciation of his merging skills.  Bastard.
2) googling "undetectable poisons" and "ways to kill someone" from your home computer, when planning the murder of your husband.  At least empty your search history, dumbass.  Also, wouldn't it be easier to just go to a friendly, Freedom of Information Act-defying library and check out "The Elements of Murder:  A World History of Poison", or just pay cash to rent, say, "Les Diaboliques" at Blockbuster?  I am disappointed in your lack of foresight, potential murderess.
There are but a few photos of Jenni & Bryan's wedding from this past weekend, unfortunately- I had to duck out of the reception way early to get to work.  Here's one of me and Roubal (and my supremely awkward way of sitting:  head facing one direction, torso another, legs pointing elsewhere). 
However, the look on Bryan's face as Jenni came down the aisle was wonderful, and her choice of footwear made my day.  Pink and green mismatched knee socks with tall white Doc Martens- perfectly Jenni.
When I went to pick up my rent-a-car this weekend, the "economy" option I'd reserved wasn't available.  Oh, instead, here's a bright red PT Cruiser!  This car lent a disturbingly suburban tilt to my errands, especially when errands took me to the Southdale Mall.  However, Southdale has a Len Druskin clearance store (50-75% off, huzzah!), and that was worth the trip, as it netted me a pair of ultra-swanky new jeans* at half price.  At the regular store, these exact same jeans are selling for full price.  Across the street at their clearance store, the same damn thing is half-off.  Success, friends.  (Also, the Marshall's incongruously located in Southdale has a kick-ass shoe selection.  I may have to spring for some pumps soon, and justify them as a "work expense".)
*after seven years of standing-room-only jeans, I am so, so ready for a mid-rise.  I want to be able to sit down and not worry about the state of my ass, and to not have belly flopping over the waistband of jeans because they're cut so low in front that the stretch of abdomen from cooch on up is exposed.  Bring on the 9" rise!  Death to Skank Jeans!

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