Tuesday May 15, 2007

The online calc class that I'm taking to fulfill my math requirement at UC is making my brain weep.  Not because I'm doing any actual learning, of course- it's rather hard for me to learn calculus in any way without a scientific or graphing calculator.  No, it's driving me insane because I can't be bothered to do my 36 or so calc problems in advance each week, so I wait until 10:30 on Sunday night to sit down and write down a whole bunch of mostly wrong answers to email in by midnight.  It seems like such a pathetic ruse:  this online college is taking my money and giving me credit that I need, but they're asking me to pretend that I'm learning something and making an effort towards Math.  Which is bullshit.  Productive bullshit in the end, because it will lead to a master's, but it seems so barely worth the effort.  All the odd-numbered problems have the answers listed in the back, so I'm getting at least 50% correct, but I do wonder if I can get away with just writing "3" as the answer for everything else.  And maybe, when it asks me to draw a graph, I can just write in "it looks like a bunch of lines".  And in lieu of my supposed final project, I could just attach a bunch of photos of my cat.  Hypothesis:  my cat is obese and furry.  Constants:  she lies on the couch all day.  Variables: does she get treats?  Outcome:  two hairballs and a garbage bag full of cat hair.
You know what math is good for, though?  Helping me decide which (completely unnecessary) pretty things to purchase: 
American Apparel dress ($36)
vs. C&C dress ($84)
vs. a long, goddessy-cut* dress at Heartbreaker ($32). 
Oh lord, I'm shallow.  Let's set a cap of $225 for all this girlish nonsense- including the raging debate in my head about the necessity of buying both a Matt & Nat bag  and a wristlet (thank god for my private-event bonuses this month!) and then strongly consider the idea of never, ever going online shopping again.  At least til fall. 
*not the end of my unceasing vapidity!  I do have to wonder why, now that I'm more on the "kinda svelte" side of things rather than the "are you pregnant?" side of things, suddenly all summer's dresses are bubbles, trapeze cuts, and empire waists.  Now, I do love an empire waist (more boobage!), but I'm not about to take the Times' hint and starve myself to get a razorlike clavicle just to announce: “Don’t let this tent dress fool you: Underneath it all, this girl can fit into a sample size.”
yes, that is an ACTUAL QUOTE from the article.
(And just how sick is that sentiment, anyway?  Considering that the idea of "sample sizes" is directly linked to post-war, post-rationing women's weights and bodies in Europe, I don't think that the idea of sample sizes really has any place in 21st century fashion.  How did Audrey Hepburn get an 18" waist?  Living on radishes and water due to the bombings, not by going to Pilates 5x a week.)  Fashion karma:  when an empire waist and bubble hem would be most appreciated with the 15 extra lbs. or so hanging on, the trendy shape that year will be Alaia-tight. 

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