Wednesday November 14, 2007

It's 60 degrees and pleasant here.  In the middle of November.  Well, I suppose Cincinnati isn't all bad, then.
Grey 3/4 sleeve tshirt (which was hip-length and long-sleeved when I bought it, but apparently decided that the dryer is a mortal enemy), sparkly navy blue sweater dress bunched up as tunic (yeah, neither the "sparkle" nor the "navy blue" are really discernible in this photo, but trust me, they're there- and I'm totally planning to wear this over dark grey tights as a dress with some serious boots), high-rise jeans, gold peep-toe flats.

The sweater tunic/dress was a recent Forever 21 purchase, and after shopping that day, I felt uncomfortably first-world.  I'd gone to MAC to get more eyeliner and foundation, and to Sephora for mascara, and by the time I left the mall, I realized I'd just spent over $100 on disposable, unnecessary things without really considering it.  In what situation is it REALLY necessary for me to shell out $30 for foundation?  Or $20 for mascara?  At what point did the 99-cent drugstore brand eyeliner stop being 'good enough' for me?
And why do I feel like these are normal purchases?  I know that the rest of the world does not have the luxury to go drop $75 at a makeup counter (well, yes, I know that "the rest of the (third) world" does not even have $75 in disposable income), and to do so, even on a grad-loans budget, makes me feel a little uncomfortably squishy in the moral area. 
(The Moral Area is found next to the kidneys.)

Some of this is residual guilt from the weekend:  parents visiting means that I have the opportunity to eat really well and get fancy groceries.  And I'm old enough now that what was once a lovely generous impulse towards their college-age kids now seems to make me... well, spoiled.  And I've never felt spoiled before, but now, it seems that I should be beyond the age of accepting rather extravagant "help" from the family without some consternation. 

This doesn't mean that I'm going to return the bottles of cava, mind you, but perhaps that I'm going to be very aware of the fact that I'm extremely lucky and remind myself to send more letters to my parents.

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