"I need fancy food in a cut-glass bowl like the Fancy Feast promises me. Unless you don't love me enough for a fancy bowl and fancy wet food."
"What's outside this door? The door that you go through in the morning and you don't come right back and pet me afterwards and sometimes oh god you're not even back after I nap. I want to go through that door! It's a magic door!"
"You don't seem to understand that that edge is your side of the bed, and that this quadrant is mine. Now move over."
"I don't care if that's your dry-clean-only section, it's where I will perch in your closet."
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you reading that? I'm going to lay on it now."
Truthfully, if we were able to teach her just one word, I'd teach her to say "LOL". Endless hours of joy would result.