Thursday March 27, 2008

I am alive.  My Discover card is nearing death, however.

Reason #492056 I love New York:  I ran into Agyness Deyn and Chlo
ë Sevigny today in the span of twenty minutes.

I have thus far spent kajillions of dollars on pretty dresses, dumplings, museum admissions, plays, and a new fancy-ass eyelash curler.  I will continue to spend the rest of my imaginary money on Korean barbecue, shoes, and more things that will make closing my suitcase impossible.

Back home (sigh) on Monday night.


Monday March 17, 2008

My sister is going to Tokyo this month, and wants to know "if (I) need anything from Japan".
My first reaction was to yell I NEED ALL OF IT.

More reasonable suggestions?


Friday March 14, 2008


This is an actual business in Cincinnati.  Less than a mile from our apartment.  Let us now weep for the state of humanity.


Tuesday March 11, 2008

Me, upon seeing the "Toe Hold" spread in the Times Men's Fashion magazine this weekend:  "no.  no.  no."


Noah glances at the sandals, then proclaims "Those sandals are worn by a man named Squire Daintytoes."


Monday March 10, 2008

I may need to break up with my tailor.

As much as I hate to go through the process of finding yet another person who can do fabulous, cheap alterations for me, this is too much.
Today, when I drove the twenty miles north to pick up a dress that was somehow NOT READY YET, although  A:  it was supposed to be done last Thursday and B:  they closed their shop four hours early on Friday, despite their assurances that they would stay open for me. 
It has been ten days.  The dress, in fact, was not even started upon.  The tailor had a question for me about pocket placement, which she inexplicably decided not to simply call me and ask about, but thought it would be a good idea to wait the full week until I came on the appointed day to pick up what should have been a finished garment.
She then seemed confused as to why I was upset, having expected this dress done on the sixth, and also now having driven 80 (!) miles to waste two hours of my life on a pointless errand.
It's now ostensibly going to be ready on Wednesday.  I think Wednesday will involve a strongly-worded complaint, my insistence that I not be charged for this work, and a thorough break-up with Lu Alterations & Tailors in West Chester.  Lu, it's time that I move on and find someone I can trust. Someone I can see a future with.  Goodbye, Lu.


Sunday March 9, 2008

Due to Daylight Savings Time, the clock in our car is now set at the correct time, for the first time since.... yeah, since we set the clocks back an hour this fall.  I've been too lazy to ever get around to changing it, and now I don't have to!

It's nice when the universe rewards my inertia.  Eventually.

Sunday March 9, 2008

Having purchased my flight to New York for spring break (spring breaaaaaaaaaaak!  like an undergrad about to rip off her bikini top for the cameras!), I'm now putting together a cross-referenced list of Things to Spend Money On.  StoreAdore has proven a wonderful procrastination tool, and of course I'm getting twitchy credit-card fingers for Century 21, Town Shop, and Dolce Vita, plus all the yummy treats to be consumed at Balthazar and maybe WD50, if I can drag friends out for some experimental nouveau cooking. 
So, where else should I plan to twirl around in a dressing room?  Vintage, especially?  Do tell.

(Note:  shop first, eat later.  That way the pretty dresses will fit when you get them home.)


Friday March 7, 2008

It is snowing today.  That, to me, is not unusual.  Yes, it's been snowing all morning and afternoon, but it's fluffy nice snow with almost no wind, and certainly not whiteout blizzard conditions.

However, the motherfuckers in Cincinnati seem to be deathly afraid of winter weather, and not afraid of wasting my time.  After driving twenty (!) miles north to the tailor to pick up my dress today, I find that they have closed four hours early due to weather.  I had called the tailor before leaving the house to make certain that they would be open this afternoon, and I was promised that they'd stay open until I came to pick up my alterations at 3:00.  I arrived at 2:55 to a closed shop.
The cobbler also considered this snowfall to be life-threatening, and closed for the full day, holding my boots hostage.
THE FUCKING BANK down the street put up a "due to inclement weather..." sign and closed at 1:00 before I had a chance to get quarters for laundry. 

Cincinnati, you suck.  It snows here.  And sometimes, in my six months' experience in this town, it seems to snow 4-6" at a time!  Please invest in some snowplows, some sand and salt for the roads, and a healthy understanding of this season called "winter".  If you insist on remaining in denial about the weather that occurs every year for four or so months, I will be forced to ship you to Minnesota so my people can teach your pansy-ass what real winter is.

Friday March 7, 2008

If you don't know by now, I guess it's time you learned.

-Brother Ali



Thursday March 6, 2008

Well, admittedly, black + grey really is about 65% of my closet.

Black wool portrait-collar belted jacket, Forever 21; black American Apparel tank; grey Citizens jeans, bronze ballet flats from Target.
It's warm enough thru tonight to wear this out to the bar with elbow-length black leather gloves.  Yesssss.


Wednesday March 5, 2008

At least it's not black.
Grey cardigan, grey tee, grey jeans, black Chucks, black lizard watch.

Truthfully, that is really not a Grown-Up outfit, but I am in that rut of "it's almost spring!  time for dresses soon!  but it's 35 degrees today and I DO NOT WANT to wear the same jeans + sweater for the fourth month in a row", which really diminishes my motivation to go through the closet to see what I can put together that's somewhat interesting and also warm.

Unrelated to the light black from pole to pole above: 
I somehow signed myself up as a running buddy to Hartl, who is training for the Grandma's Half-Marathon in June.  I am, to put it nicely, a lapsed distance runner.  If "lapsed" can be taken to mean "has not run more than two miles in over five years".  At one point, however, I was reliably hitting the 20+ mile/week mark, and if I can do that, well, then Hartl can run a half-marathon, and I can get back into the habit too.  As of last night, I'm now accountable to run with her during her training, even if it is via email.  Knees, get ready.  You're about to weep.


Tuesday March 4, 2008

I spent the morning in an uncharacteristically somber Corporate Conservative getup (as conservative as my closet gets, that is:  it was a mental battle to forgo the pewter peep-toes that would have looked gorgeous with the ensemble and choose to wear the plain black low-heeled pumps) for a finance class presentation.  I promptly came home and replaced all the Professional Businessy Ladylike garb with a hoodie and jeans and boots, because it's gone from 71 degrees and lovely on Monday to 35 and rainy today, and that is no time to prance around in a pencil skirt and heels. 

(I do regret not having a photo of yesterday's presentation outfit:  a green and white gingko-print DvF wrap dress and trench.  It was appropriately springy, but unfortunately did not have the power to convince warm weather to stay around Cincinnati and pamper me.)

I also regret not grabbing my camera quickly enough to get a photo of the locksmith's van with the slogan "23 hours a day, 8 days a week".  If you're working 8 days a week, shouldn't you just suck it up and work that extra hour each day to make it an even 24?  (Or is the 24th hour your mandatory union break?  Your schedule is unclear.)

Things I do not regret: 
1.  Getting those shoes in the mail today. 
I plan to swaddle my entire body in stretchy jersey from March through October, and that includes feet.

2.  Voting today in the Ohio primary, though it did seem odd that here, you have to declare your party before they will give you a ballot.  You can only vote a straight Dem ticket- no registered Democrat is allowed to vote on any Republican races, forcing you to choose between being a dick* by either voting for Ron Paul or for Kucinich. 

*for the record, I love Kucinich, his Department of Peace, his far-leftiness, and of course, his gorgeous wife.  I'm just not going to toss in a vote for him when the Ohio and Texas primaries a large-ish number of delegates.  But rock on with your ultra-progressivism, Dennis!


Saturday March 1, 2008

I have a tax refund to spend (or to save, but we know that's not going to happen).  I've already thrown down for:
*Leopard- although in the process of going with the new operating system, I have definitively proven that it's a bad idea to do a full erase and install of your OS while drunk.
*Cute shoes
*A shockingly awesome silk pleated skirt at Express, of all places.  (what?  When at the Apple store, one is in a mall.  And in a mall is an Express.  Next to Apple, practically.  And it was on clearance!)

*A black tie-neck top that I snagged for $25, also at Express.  (see justifications above.)

and should buy airfare to NYC for spring break, already.

My spending compulsion has not been sated, however.  I am on a mission to find new underwear that are, most importantly, cute and/or sexy, while simultaneously being less than $12/pair, not made entirely of polyester, actually cover my entire ass, which seems to be the entire point of underwear, and free of both VPL and bunching.  This doesn't seem like an unreasonable series of demands to me.
Contenders, price notwithstanding, are:

aa boy
dknyck hipsterck floral
L-R:  American Apparel, DKNY, and two from Calvin Klein.
elle melle m 2hp boyhp stripe
L-R:  two by Elle MacPherson, two by Hanky Panky.  HP, by the way, wants me to pay $40 per pair for some admittedly very cute lacy boyshorts.  Forty fucking dollars???

The issue here is that the very cheapest of these options is the $13 American Apparel boy briefs, and I happen to think that $13 is really too much to pay for underwear.  Even for hot-pink boyshorts.  Especially when that $13 could go towards the $20 admission at MOMA in a few weeks.  And dinner at Balthazar.

...man, I'm totally going to regret posting photos of underwear when I see this week's sitemeter with searches such as "hot girls in underwear $13".