thoughts on pants

Noticed at Rock the Bells this weekend:
it is a bad idea, if you are a very short man, to wear very long shorts.
(You know the kind I mean: the kind that hit at the lower shin and are often indiscernible from high-waters, except for the baggy factor. Also, lesson learned: when safesearch is off, do not google "baggy long ghetto shorts". Trust me.)

For when you are under 5' 4", wearing shorts this long will make you look about 4' 6", and also stumpy and utterly unattractive. Plus, you do know you're wearing manpris, right?

(Not that I advocate long, shin-length baggy shorts under any circumstances at all. Oh no. Those shorts make you look like a tool. But if you're already short, they make you look like a SuperTool. An UltraMegaTool. A douchebag.)


peej said...

The thing that kills me about men in shorts, in general, is the footwear option. 9 out of 10 times, I see them wearing SOCKS and big, clunky ass sneakers with their shorts. And the other time, they rock sandals from 1993. There's really no way to win.

nadarine said...

Yes: and while cargo shorts + flipflops is a completely fratty look, I can give it a pass on occasion, because at least those two things GO TOGETHER. Your basketball shoes + shin-high socks + manpris, however, do not.

Men everywhere should take a moment while getting dressed and ask themselves: what would a ad-exec gay man wear? Because that's pretty much infallible.