Last night at Scribble Jam, I was fortunate enough to meet lovely people (including many Minnesotans, which made me swoony for Minneapolis) and hear even more amazing things (including a fantastic freestyle battle, 90 minutes of KRS-ONE, and Atmosphere singing "Always Comin' Back Home To You" straight into my heart).
I also had the constant dilemma of where do I put my stuff? There's no coat check at such an event, naturally, and things tend to fall out of hoodie pockets when one is jumping around and generally getting down.
(Related: goddamn it, I can wave my hands in the air like I just don't care without hitting you in the head- why can't you return the favor? Please remove your elbow from the back of my neck, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped stomping on my feet as you rock to the beat.)
Additionally, I'm not sure if those constant pawings at my hips were lame attempts at groping me, or blatant attempts to steal whatever I may have had in my pockets.
This entire situation thankfully ended in a highly useful epiphany. These American Apparel thigh-high socks (and they do go all the way up, eliminating odd mid-thigh sock-stoppage lines) can double as a bootlegger-worthy storage system! I began hiking up my skirt and shoving my phone, change purse, and keys into the tops of these socks. If you move things around in a crafty way, it's utterly indiscernible under clothing that you're packing all your worldly possessions under your skirt. The socks fit very snug, so I wasn't worried about the tops slipping down to empty my valuables onto the dance floor.
As a bonus, the police officers that finally shut the show down at 3:20 a.m. were rather pleased to see me hiking up my skirt and procuring keys from my thigh-highs in the parking lot. You're welcome, officers.