the reason I am making angry faces for the next 27 hours

With god as my witness, I'll never fly Delta again.
Let's recap the ways in which Delta has utterly screwed me this month, shall we?

Dec 16th: I check in for my christmas flight online. Delta now charges $20 per piece of checked luggage.

Dec 17th: after a taxi ride from extortion hell to Newark, I am ready at the gate for my 10 a.m. flight. At 10:15, we are informed that the flight attendants "got in late last night" and have not arrived at the airport yet. At 10:40, the flight attendants saunter in and we are finally allowed to board the plane. (FUCK YOU, flight attendants. I got in late last night too, but managed to get my exhausted ass from the Upper East Side to Newark by 8 a.m. with two giant suitcases in tow, just so I could wait for you at the gate as you slept in.)
I frantically check my watch every four minutes as we sit at the gate, watching my narrow window of connection-making ability quickly tick by. I figure that if we're taking off by 11:10, I may be able to make the connecting flight to Nebraska.
At 11:07, as we pull up to the runway, the pilot announces via intercom that we must go back to the gate for a last-minute repair. You know, the kind of repair that takes 30 minutes and that somehow, no member of the crew noticed before the damn plane was ready to taxi.
At 11:15, I body-check passengers on my way out of the airplane to get re-booked for a new flight to Nebraska. This one gets in six hours later than planned, and means I'm laid over in Atlanta for three hours, which means the family picking me up at the airport now has six hours to wait around Omaha and waste time.

Dec 29th: I attempt to check in for my return flight. I am told that I am "ineligible" to check in, but am given no reason. After 30 minutes on the phone (and countless more on hold), I am finally given a reason: as my "original itinerary" was changed due to Delta's myriad fuckups on Dec 17th, I am no longer eligible to check in online for my thus-far-unchanged return flight.
This does not make any goddamn sense.
How can I check in and get on a plane to New York tomorrow? Well, I must check in at the airport, and to do so, I must arrive two hours prior to my flight time. My flight is at 11 a.m., and with the three hour drive to the airport (for this is Nebraska, I reminded several Delta reps, and there is a gigantic swath of land with no airport, and I travel from that vast prairie for three hours to reach their goddamn Delta terminal), this means I now must leave the house no later than six a.m. to get on an 11 a.m. flight so I can arrive in Newark by 5-fucking-thirty in the evening.

Oh, and since I'm car-less, this means my parents must also wake at 5 a.m. to drive me to Omaha.
And I'm still going to have to pay $40 for my checked luggage, to add insult to injury.

If I am not safely deposited in the Newark International Airport by 5:30 p.m. tomorrow, you're going to see what angry looks like, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Update, due to unexpected "extra time": goddamn fucking bullshit airline. I was given the full frisk at security in Omaha, and am now sitting at a gate that says "delayed" without any reason given. Word is that this flight MAY take off by 6:30 tonight, maybe. A three-hour delay on top of this bullshit makes me very, very angry. FUCK YOU, PENGUIN!

MORE EDITING SWEET CHRIST I AM PISSED: Guess why I am not boarding for a 6:25 p.m. flight right now, although it's 6:12 p.m.? Because the flight crew has not shown up yet! They've had three hours worth of delay in which to show up, but that was not enough notice for them. For the first time ever, I'm looking forward to a 12-hour drive to finish up this vacation, because at least delays on that leg of the trip will be caused by things like a sudden craving for a grilled cheese sandwich while driving through Pennsylvania.


more rampant wishlisting

As a child, I never felt that having a birthday rather close to Christmas was any kind of hardship. Granted, a January birthday almost always falls when school is in session, so the classroom parties and cake and sleepovers were never a scheduling issue. Rather, I found my exactly-three-weeks-after-Christmas birthday convenient, as I could just take the list off the fridge, cross off the things I received for Christmas, and simply retitle it "Birthday List".

If you're thinking ahead as to how you'll properly celebrate my birthday (hint: Laphroaig!), here are some things that would make me swoon.

I have constantly chapped lips, and applying the Korres Wild Rose tint lip butter makes them both un-chapped and so, so pretty.

Are these shoes the most beautiful things I've ever seen? Yes, yes they are.

My new funnel-neck coat is amazing, but leaves little room for a long, thick scarf under it. Solution: neckwarmer! And not only because it is called "Chunky Business".

Come now, you don't want me to have wet feet, do you?

These lacquered slide boxes come with mints inside, but I really just want them to hold my contact lens case. (I currently use one that has fallen to the tile floor one too many times, and is starting to crack in half.)

Girls like to smell pretty.

Girls also like pretty jewelry boxes when they realize that their current jewelry storage system of a bag and a bunch of necklaces draped over the tops of boots is somewhat subpar.


link love

Racked provides the link to the list of 15 Unfortunately Named Items Of Clothing; the list provides me endless amusement at the proximity of "skort" and "skong".


smell, memory

I'm lying in bed.
What's that smell? Why does it smell like vacation? California! Where is that smell coming from?

Aha. My new supercharged night moisturizer has a strong jasmine component, and this jasmine scent all over my face smells exactly like a hotel I stayed in while in San Diego in 2006. I assume all the hotel toiletries there were jasmine-scented, or there were hidden jasmine air fresheners placed around the room, or some such similar trigger.
The link between scent and memory is so strong with me that I can remember the taste of the coffee on that hotel balcony and the light in that hotel room when I smell this night cream. I've been known to stop short when a passerby is wearing a cologne that a high-school ex-boyfriend favored in 1998, and when Gap re-released their "classic scents" last year, smelling Dream sent me right back to my freshman dorm room and the friend whose closet always smelled vaguely of Dream. I once vetoed a cologne for my dad, sampled blindly, when I recoiled at the association of that particular smell (dancing at gay clubs) and my father.

Perhaps tonight, after gift-opening, I'll have some new scents to create similar memories for others with. Say, a nice bottle of Black Orchid...?


desperately seeking _________

1) a "long wearing" eyeliner that is, y'know, long-wearing. Too many times have I come home lately to notice that my supposedly budge-proof MAC Powerpoint has slid from my eyelids into the outer corner of my eye, and is dripping down under my lower lashes and across great swaths of my face. This look flatters no one, I promise. Am I smearing waterproof makeup remover across my eyes while I'm out having dinner? No. Then why does this "waterproof" liner end up smearing about after just a few hours? I am highly dissatisfied.
Any no-smudge, no-smear, waterproof eyeliner you'd like to recommend? Once this Buried Treasure pencil is out, I'm through with the underperforming $15 Powerpoints.

2) grey or black skinny jeans with an appropriate rise. By "appropriate" I mean "will hold in the ever-present muffin-top"- none of this 5" rise malarkey. I'm thinking 8" rise, minimum.
Revolve has a lovely function to search by style, color, and rise (missing from too many online stores!), and is suggesting the Cheap Monday jeans here, but I am a little wary, as I haven't been able to try on a pair of Cheap Mondays for fit. Perhaps that will be a NYC quest for next week. Other suggestions? (Stipulation: and by that I mean "cheap as possible".)
brilliant update: Those CMs are now $40 on the Urban Outfitters website. STAY ON SALE until I can try you on in a store and determine whether or not I can for my legs into your denim, pretty please!


what I did for love

Hell yes I bought this.

Sing, o muse, of the Yves St. Laurent sale at Housing Works last Thursday!

The sale was slated to start at 6 pm. Thursday was cold, dreary, and raining like a bitch. I lined up at 5:30 and huddled under my umbrella outside the front doors of the 23rd St. Housing Works, looking longingly inside at the people setting up the champagne bar, all warm and dry. Being just one person in line, rather than with a group of friends, I was able to squeeze my right arm and leg under the overhang to get a little shelter from the rain, as my umbrella was underperforming. (A few people came up to the crowd at the door and asked what in god's name we would line up for in rain like that- one of whom might have been Billy Joel, actually, because he looked exactly like him and kept giving me that "you know me! recognize me out loud!" look.)
Just before 6:00, a friend joined me in line, and then the doors opened. Then: free champagne to the left! YSL to the right! Oh god, choices. A few dealers near the front swooped down up on the racks and hauled off armfuls of clothing straight to the cash register, while we were left to shove our way towards the far rack. I felt a smack on my shoulder, and my friend shoved a handful of shoes into my hands- "size 8 1/2! Go!"- and I snagged two silky blouses from the rack to try on. (One of these ended up being purchased by the shoe-piling friend, and one by me.)

This lighting is the definition of terrible, as I took these photos on my parents'
kitchen table. But the pumps are black suede, and the t-straps are a true red suede.

I came away with a green chiffon blouse with rhinestone buttons and the two pairs of shoes above- both suede, both in utterly perfect condition. I think these have been worn maybe twice each in their lifetimes. Thank you, Housing Works donor, for having the same size feet as I do! (Narrow, too! Oh, it's a holiday miracle!)

Purchases secured, I was finally able to enjoy the table of free champagne- good champagne, at that!- and hors d'oeuvres. After umpteen free glasses of bubbly, we decided to head off to dinner, with a pit stop to pick up an umbrella from the bar at which it had been left the night before. We cab over, and as we're ducking into the bar, I notice that my friend's hands are empty. "Where's your Housing Works bag?", I ask her. "OH SWEET CHRIST THE CAB THE CAB OH NO!"
I begin to sprint. I can see the cab stopped at the light down the block, and I am chanting "don't turn! don't turn!" as I run through the rain in my very non-waterproof heels to rescue her YSL purchases from being stranded in a downtown taxi. Amazingly, I make it to the cab's back door before the light turns, and snatch up the bag from the backseat while the cabdriver looks on in confusion.
That, friends, is how the night ended. Two happy bags of Yves St. Laurent in tow, a giant umbrella, and a lot more wine.


stocking stalking

When I saw Susie Bubble's post on lacy stockings, I nearly swallowed my own tongue. These are beyond hot. Stockings* like these deserve a category all their own, such as "deadly". I learned from her example and attempted to track them down at Wolford while I was in New York, and although I was prepared to spend an obscene amount of money ($90! For a pair of fucking tights!), the salesgirl claimed that these were only on sale during the summer, and sorry! we don't make them any longer! I think this is bullshit (because people in Germany can buy them! so says your own site!) and perhaps I just looked ultra-askew that day and she has veto power over who buys these stockings, as I assume they are in massive demand.

*the best part? THEY'RE TIGHTS. Full stockings, if you will. Which means they don't provide an excuse to buy a garter belt, but they fully make up for that with their massive awesomeness.

By the way, I have absolutely no reason to wear gorgeous stockings. I mean, as the boyfriend is in Asia until mid-2009, who really gets the benefit of these? The cat? The taxi driver, as I awkwardly exit the car and accidentally flash too much leg? But a girl can dream of a day on which such legwear will be properly appreciated, and on that day, well, these might make a nice purchase.

Dude. These are topped with a peacock feather design, and you know I am a sucker for peacocks.

seasonally appropriate

Across the Delancey St. stop: a woman in a bright fuschia velour tracksuit with a white hoodie underneath, white Uggs, and white gloves.
I'm not sure if she meant to dress like Mrs. Claus Goes to L.A., but I've got a feeling she's going to regret that ensemble when someone comes up to her and says "ho, ho, ho".



I should've mentioned this before, but posting will be light/nonexistent for the next 5 days or so: I'm on vacation in NYC, and though I do love the internet, I'm pretty sure that breakfast at Shopsin's and ice skating in Bryant Park are going to be a bit more diverting.

You'll just have to wait for tales of the YSL finds at Housing Works!


wishful thinking

My actual wishlist (subtitled: "things to turn that frown upside down, missy!") right now is boring: a job once I finish school, A's in my classes, for the TSA to pay my claim for my broken glasses, sleep, and an end to the terrifying computer problems that send me into a panic and lead to seven hours of frantic troubleshooting and many more hours at the Apple Genius Bar.
(Not that that's how I spent my Sunday night and Monday morning in lieu of sleep and studying or anything.)

But, since my big amazing wishlist item (President-elect Obama! YES!) has come through, what's the harm in asking for some fun things?

I really need another sheet set, as my latest nice cotton sheets were mauled by something sharp during the spin cycle. These are not too expensive, but are 100% cotton, and a thread count of 600 means I get to pretend to be fancy.

Also fancy: a swanky silk robe. Chinoiserie and 40's! I would be sure to eat proper breakfasts every day if attired in this.

My filing cabinet is about one hanging folder away from toppling over. (And yes, I do need to hang on to those handouts from 2001 on comedic theory in performance, damn it!) Noted: I always said "filing cabinet", but apparently most of the internet that is trying to sell me one of these refers to it as a "file cabinet". Discuss.

Unsurprisingly, I am in love with this watch.

Judging by the amount of Liquid Smoke I put into recipes that don't necessarily call for it, you might surmise that I am a huge, huge fan of Islay malts. This thought should lead you to buy me a nice bottle of scotch.

My current winter coat sucks.This coat does not. Sold!

Edit: yessssssssssss. I found this very coat for 50% off at a sample sale today. Thank you, shitty economy, for facilitating these kinds of discounts.

Although I assume the above coat is pretty much perfect, I do have freakishly long arms, which leads exposed wrists all winter when a coat stops short. Snuggling my hands into this muff would be almost as good as having a bunch of kittens drape themselves over my forearms to warm me. Except I don't want to scalp kittens to make this muff. (It's vintage fur! Therefore somewhat less objectionable to this former-PETA newsletter-subscriber! Oh, fuck it, pass the foie gras.)

Does Thomas Keller need a justification? Hell no.

I keep saying "oh, I need a new bed- my mattress is simply too soft to support my back properly!" What I'm really saying is "duuuuude, I want a fancy king-sized bed."

These salt & pepper shakers are the definition of twee. So?

After this week's tech freakout, I really have no excuse not to get more RAM for my Macbook. It's not especially fun or shiny, but then again, neither is another laptop meltdown leading to a personal meltdown.


don we now our gay apparel

"Holiday party" means "reason to wear ridiculously adorable hat I bought on a whim".

Black velvet hat with veil, vintage ($8 in a Nebraska secondhand store!);
dress, H&M; belt, Urban Outfitters; gloves, vintage; shoes, MaxStudio.

Taking photos at the end of a party will pretty much guarantee that everyone looks either glazed or incredibly saucy. I'm trying to strike a balance between the two here.


two of the four food groups

Bourbon + chocolate = potentially the only thing I will eat, ever, for the rest of my life.
This is definitely going to be my showstopper New Year's Eve cake this year.


Thakoooooooooooooooooh, nice.

I'm scoping out Targets within reasonable range of my parents' house for early acquisition of the Thakoon for Target line, out Dec 28th. I believe the closest Target carrying the GO line may be 47 miles away, with the next option at a distance of 130 miles. Is this unreasonable? Um, no, not for the following pieces that I am already coveting.

Yes, ok, this dress looks v short. And I am not normally a fan of batik
(bad faux-hippie connotations). But I am still gaping with desire at this.
Please be on the low end of the pricing spectrum, pretty dress!

Pretty much everything here is what I want to wear from May through September.
Flowy geometric dress, put-together but not matchy cardigan, skinny belt. Yes, yes, yes.

And hey! Target has finally jettisoned their Headless Model theme! The models now have more than an oddly-cropped chin! This makes me far happier than it should, but dude, there was just something so OFF about having all the clothes worn by beheaded models.

still warm enough to eschew pants

Black button-up, Banana Republic; super-high-waisted brocade skirt, Tulle; boots, Colin Stuart.

...oh, and new glasses purchase last night at Lenscrafters just before closing. When packing for my flight back from Thanksgiving, I placed my lovely glasses in a hard case, and nestled this hard case amongst my clean laundry in my suitcase. When I unpacked, I noticed a little slip from the TSA saying "we went through your stuff". And then I noticed that my glasses were broken in half. Six weeks after buying new lenses for the old frames, I had to purchase both new frames and new lenses. The TSA can bite me, and they can also take my claim for the $300 it cost to replace my broken glasses and reimburse me. ("It may take anywhere from 60 days to 6 months to process claims.")