do you really want to hurt me?

I had "McQ for Target" blocked out on my calendar for a long, long time before today finally arrived. The preview shots with Blythe, the Wide-Eyed Doll hadn't given me a great idea of what the pieces would look like in person (those zig-zag leggings on Blythe must've just been a styling prop, right? they can't have been actually produced!), so I scooted to my nearest Target this morning to paw at the McQ racks.

That was disappointing. Now, my Target didn't have every piece in the collection in the store, but what I saw was uniformly subpar. Some of the pieces are just fucking bizarre, such as the unflattering jumpsuits with the weirdly-placed waist (jumpsuits? SERIOUSLY?) and those fugly electric-pink-and-black zig zag leggings that I had the good sense not to wear in 1989, because I knew better even then. There's also a serious disconnect in the line: some pieces that seem to be the spawn of a 'roiding bodybuilder's favorite mesh workout tee and the kinds of shirts you bought at Express in 1999 to go clubbing in, while others (like the buttoned-up Catholic elementary school uniform shirt and the high-waisted calf-length full skirt) are something I'd expect to find in the closets of a fundie compound.

I tried on three pieces that seemed to have escaped the mesh-application factory: the grey skinny studded jeans (alas, no grey denim motorcycle jacket in sight), the harness tank, and the one-shoulder graphic grey dress.
I wanted to love these, really. Per usual, the sizing is odd for the collection- but the fit of these went beyond "problems fitting a non-junior's body into a junior's-cut pair of pants". The legs were perfect: tight without being sprayed-on, and the rise wasn't obscenely low. But: the waist. Or, specifically, everything above the legs. These pants had a built-in pouchiness. Now, I've got a sad amount of built-in pooch on my own body, but these had enough room for my "I love cannoli" belly with room to spare. So much room to spare that I could fit a fist between the waistband and my stomach. Anything north of the crotch on these pants seems to be cut from a completely different pattern- a mom-jeans, the-heck-with-slim-fit, must-have-room-for-a-marsupial-in-there pattern. And it was sad.
Especially since the grey is excellent, and the pockets are well-placed, and the studs are interesting without being ostentatious. Dammit, Target, I wanted to love these jeans and buy them.
Good things about the tank: the shoulder/back harness detail is awesome and not made of a squicky synthetic fabric. Big huge awful thing about this tank: it's see-through. You could've seen through this to identify the maker of my bra and probably pick out a mole on my abdomen, had I left the dressing room to see just how much a perfect stranger could determine through my shirt under flourescent lighting.

This dress was almost a hit, really. The design is gorgeous (and I'm not normally a one-sleeve kind of girl, but the power of McQueen compelled me) and the fabric is pretty good: silk overlay, synthetic lining.
However, I believe that the fit model for Target has some seriously wacky proportions. I think she was involved in a freak accident that chopped 4" out of her femurs, thus shortening her upper legs and making everything she puts on look to be of a normal length, so they produce it to those specifications. We know this is a lie: what looks normal on our maimed model looks tunic-length on other people whose femurs are intact. This shit is shoooooooooort. "You're not leaving the house in that, missy!" short. "I can't sit down" short. "Tights are not pants!" short.

I left Target with a jug of delicate laundry detergent, some hand cream, q-tips, toothpaste, and a pout. Dammit.


Anonymous said...

I too had my dayrunner marked but for the Blythe doll herself.
The doll that's normally out of my price range was now going to be affordable enough to also buy 2 extras for my girls.
I did the following and still no doll:
-searched online since the supposed release
-drove to a store and dealt with a team of employees who worked hard yet found no info
-called Target headquarters, they had no idea what a Blythe doll was but took my number if they find anything out
-I then emailed Target and received an email stating that I should call the store or check online.

What a run around....
You don't happen to know why the dolls were not released do you?

Thanks for sharing your review.
I did like the one black T with the blonde on it.

courtney said...

tights ARE pants!

nadarine said...

@anon: I don't think that Target ever planned to sell the Blythe dolls- it was just a promo photo in lieu of actual models. I'm fairly sure they're a collector's item fetching high prices on eBay and elsewhere, and won't dilute that market with a mass production run.

@courtney: YOU LIE. Tights are not pants. Ask Blair Waldorf.