8.12.2009

house porn

... if by "porn" you mean "improvised horror films", that is.

My lease for the summer apartment is up on October 1, so like a good little overachiever, I've been diligently scouting for new apartments since August 1. Padmapper is massively helpful in this regard, and prevents one from getting sucked in by a too-good ad that promises "Wicker Park 1br + den $700/mo heat incl!" that turns out to be in Humboldt Park. (Yes, I know you can just hit the "google map this" link at the bottom of the ad, but I try to limit the number of extraneous tabs I have open at one point.)

I think I have seen every single apartment in Chicago. Really. I won't get into the fine details of my apartment wishlist, but the gist of it is: I need an apartment with a reasonable amount of closet space, a kitchen that actually functions as a kitchen and not a spot to reheat takeout leftovers, a bedroom large enough for both a bed and a dresser (this seems to be an issue for 95% of the apartments I've seen. "Queen-sized bedroom" means, in apartment slang, "a queen bed fits in the bedroom, but only if you don't open the door or have a headboard or need the room to maneuver to change the sheets"), a tiny little outdoor space where my basil and strawberries and tomatoes can grab a little sunlight, and is does not have byzantine parking rules which require me to repark my car every 72 hours in one of the four parking spaces available to a neighborhood of sixty-seven cars. Is this so much to ask? Apparently, yes.

Well, now, I shouldn't be too hasty on all that. I'm quite certain that all these things could be acquired with the right amount of money, but the "right amount" may be something approaching five figures per month, and I don't know whether to laugh or sob or torch the leasing agent's office. I once found going to apartment showings to be a pleasant pastime: look at all the lovely crown moldings! Oh, the back porch is adorable here! Wouldn't it be nice to live next to the park? Now, apartment showings are creeping up on my Least Favorite Things, right up there with scrubbing windows and tasting to see if the food has gone bad.

Despite all this horror, I'm hoping to have a living situation figured out in the next week. The moment I sign a lease, of course, I'll suddenly receive a job offer in New York, and all my Chicago employment prospects will fizzle, per Murphy's Law.

Edit: well, at least it's not the horrorshow that is this story about a loft apartment in Kansas City. Thanks, Apartment Therapy, for showing me that it could be worse!

1 comment:

Kaye said...

wow I wish I had known of that website sooner- how awesome!!!

I think there is talk of the beach on Saturday- you in???

kaye