11.23.2009

i'm telling y'all, it's a sabotage

New and unusual ways in which my clothing has made me look foolish over the past three days:

Saturday-
I am wearing this dress to work. As it was sixty degrees, I didn't bother to wear it with tights. I realize, as I squat directly in front of a large window, that this particular dress is far too short to wear to work, when work may included unplanned-for squatting situations when things like lamps and rugs must be moved around.
Especially when one's underthings happened to be brightly colored and probably visible from the parking lot.

Sunday-
After several frustrating hours of looking for a very particular shirt I wished to wear out to dinner, I am forced to write off the disappearance of my striped cowlneck as inexplicable and inevitable, as I really like that shirt, and have only worn it twice. So of course it's now lost and gone forever. Ah, no matter: I decide on a very lovely cashmere sweater that has never failed me.
Five and a half hours later, I realize that this sweater has a hole the size of a nickel which had been front and centered over my torso for the entire evening.

Monday-
Admittedly, I overslept by about 45 minutes, so I wasn't doing a full once-over before leaving the house this morning. But my drapey DvF dress has been a failsafe piece for quite some time, so I feel confident in its ability not to make me look like an ass.
Dammit.
Turns out the lower half of this dress has become see-through without my noticing. The florescent lights of the bathroom at work have helpfully pointed this out to me, so now I get to shuffle through a mildly important networking thingy this evening with the knowledge that, lit from the right angle, I might as well not be wearing much more than a leotard.


At this rate, I'm assuming that tomorrow will involve tearing a giant hole in the seat of my pants, or I'll have a heel snap off as I'm walking down a staircase, or that a scarf will become sentient and strangle me of its own volition.

1 comment:

Photos by Jessica K Farley said...

Similar situation today. 2pm interview. Perfect job.

Trying to find suitable interview attire is extremely difficult. Especially when you are 7.5 months preggs and nothing fits. Plus, I refuse to buy nasty maternity clothing dress pants and "float from my body tent-like" shirts.

I finally found a fabulous black, silk, wrap H&M Mama blouse that I totally forgot I had. Yay! Until I was half way to the interview and noticed that wrap tops never stay wrapped. Ugh! Boobs everywhere.

Thank goodness I had a thick knit wool sweater in the car that worked with my outfit! Although, with the interview taking place with 3 old dudes, it might not have been a bad idea to show a little tit. ha.

On another fashion note:
You must check out JC Penny. I know. I know. WTF, right. I seriously find secret jems of clothing there. It's crazy. And, while I'm definitely keeping my secret here (so all the fab items I find go untouched and find their way to the 3.97 racks) I will let you in on it:)

It's kind of hard to tell online the greatness of these pants, but I assure you-classic tailored loveliness.

http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=50434&CatID=67433&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=176e452&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=50434|50452|70395&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=13&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=50434|50452|67433

and


http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?DeptID=50434&CatID=67651&GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1780e17&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=50434|50452|55512&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=35&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=50434|50452|55512|67651

Plus, the brand "Oxford and Regent" has a lot of crazy tailed nice pieces.

Also, I just finished reading the book, "Retail Hell" How I Sold My Soul to the Store. Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate. By: Freeman Hall

So fucking good. About this guy who sold handbags at Nordstrom's and the agony of it all. I read it in a few hours. Funny as...hell. Go now! You will love it.

Have a good Thanksgiving!
xxoo,
Jess