i'm telling y'all, it's a sabotage

New and unusual ways in which my clothing has made me look foolish over the past three days:

I am wearing this dress to work. As it was sixty degrees, I didn't bother to wear it with tights. I realize, as I squat directly in front of a large window, that this particular dress is far too short to wear to work, when work may included unplanned-for squatting situations when things like lamps and rugs must be moved around.
Especially when one's underthings happened to be brightly colored and probably visible from the parking lot.

After several frustrating hours of looking for a very particular shirt I wished to wear out to dinner, I am forced to write off the disappearance of my striped cowlneck as inexplicable and inevitable, as I really like that shirt, and have only worn it twice. So of course it's now lost and gone forever. Ah, no matter: I decide on a very lovely cashmere sweater that has never failed me.
Five and a half hours later, I realize that this sweater has a hole the size of a nickel which had been front and centered over my torso for the entire evening.

Admittedly, I overslept by about 45 minutes, so I wasn't doing a full once-over before leaving the house this morning. But my drapey DvF dress has been a failsafe piece for quite some time, so I feel confident in its ability not to make me look like an ass.
Turns out the lower half of this dress has become see-through without my noticing. The florescent lights of the bathroom at work have helpfully pointed this out to me, so now I get to shuffle through a mildly important networking thingy this evening with the knowledge that, lit from the right angle, I might as well not be wearing much more than a leotard.

At this rate, I'm assuming that tomorrow will involve tearing a giant hole in the seat of my pants, or I'll have a heel snap off as I'm walking down a staircase, or that a scarf will become sentient and strangle me of its own volition.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Similar situation today. 2pm interview. Perfect job.

Trying to find suitable interview attire is extremely difficult. Especially when you are 7.5 months preggs and nothing fits. Plus, I refuse to buy nasty maternity clothing dress pants and "float from my body tent-like" shirts.

I finally found a fabulous black, silk, wrap H&M Mama blouse that I totally forgot I had. Yay! Until I was half way to the interview and noticed that wrap tops never stay wrapped. Ugh! Boobs everywhere.

Thank goodness I had a thick knit wool sweater in the car that worked with my outfit! Although, with the interview taking place with 3 old dudes, it might not have been a bad idea to show a little tit. ha.

On another fashion note:
You must check out JC Penny. I know. I know. WTF, right. I seriously find secret jems of clothing there. It's crazy. And, while I'm definitely keeping my secret here (so all the fab items I find go untouched and find their way to the 3.97 racks) I will let you in on it:)

It's kind of hard to tell online the greatness of these pants, but I assure you-classic tailored loveliness.




Plus, the brand "Oxford and Regent" has a lot of crazy tailed nice pieces.

Also, I just finished reading the book, "Retail Hell" How I Sold My Soul to the Store. Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate. By: Freeman Hall

So fucking good. About this guy who sold handbags at Nordstrom's and the agony of it all. I read it in a few hours. Funny as...hell. Go now! You will love it.

Have a good Thanksgiving!