12.12.2009

love/hate

I am a sucker for year-end recaps. Best of! Worst of! And now, à la Daddy Likey and The Sunday Best, my highly opinionated and likely under-informed list of Five Trends I Hated in Fashion/ Five Trends I Loved in Fashion for the 2000-2009 span.
Oh, man. This means I'm mentally looking back to things I wore in college and cringing so, so hard.

Let's go with hate first, because that's more satisfying. Bonus: I will admit to the fact that I've owned/worn several of these. In no particular order:


5) Vera Bradley bags.
(image via Vera Bradley)

I do not understand these. They look like a grandmotherly sewing kit mated with an assortment of reject fabrics and had a hideous baby. I grit my teeth every single time I see one. I managed to avoid them until 2007, when I noticed a plague of them attacking the campus of my grad school. You made your way into college, ladies. This should indicate you have the common sense not to carry something so ugly.
(Note: one of my best friends has a large weekender-sized Vera Bradley. I love her so dearly, but oh god, how I hate that bag.)

4) Ultra-low rise jeans. Oh my god, what was the world thinking? Was it something like "wow, I wish I had a way to display my bikini waxer's skill, my thong, AND my belly simultaneously?" Because that's the net effect here. Shudder.

(image via makeyourownjeans.com. I would retitle this makeyouownmistakeinpantchoice.com, but that's just me.)

Wow, 2001. I don't miss you at all.

3) Mullet dresses. Party in the front, hey-look-we-have-more-fabric! in the back. I am not a fan.
(I confess: I wore an asymmetrical-hem dress to my own high school graduation in 2000. It wasn't a mullet dress, but the hem rose at a 30% angle from my right knee to my left thigh. It did not look good, and I hate all my graduation photos because of this massively stupid outfit choice.)

(image via designerdesirables.com)

2) Crocs.

(image via Elfleda's Flickr)

Again, I confess: I owned a pair of Crocs in 2007, BUT ONLY FOR TWO MONTHS, AND ONLY BECAUSE I WAS WORKING AS A PRODUCTION BAKER AND I NEEDED SOME NONSLIP KITCHEN FOOTWEAR AND MY RUNNING SHOES DIDN'T CUT IT.
The all-caps-bold was necessary to explain how much owning those shoes hurt my soul. Immediately following my last shift at the bakery, I threw the shoes away and took a hot shower to cleanse myself of their memory.

1) Branded velour sweatsuits.

(image via Slice of Style, who pinpoints this as one of the ensembles sure to attract a douchebag. True, true.)

It's almost too easy a target, isn't it? But I blame much of what went wrong for Britney Spears on that velour sweatsuit she wore immediately following her wedding to K-Fed. When your wedding party is wearing clothes that say "Hot Mama" and "Pimp", you know life is going downhill.



Now, on to a place where things are pretty and make me smile, and like R.E.M., we're all shiny happy people holding hands.

5) The whole resurgence of classic cocktail dresses (and office dresses, and day dresses, and pretty much every costume on the show) and pencil skirts, courtesy Mad Men. I've never seen the show (which, I know, is blasphemous), but the unabashed dress-for-the-occasion bent gives me great joy.

(image via Fashion In Motion, who did a nice series of posts on the early-60's style in Mad Men)

Also, Christina Hendricks is out-of-this-world gorgeous. Excuse me a moment, I'm going to go troll eBay for yet another sheath dress.

4) The knee-high boot.


(so I already own three pairs of knee-high black boots, so what? I don't own this one yet!)

Is this a thing of recent occurrence? I don't recall women wearing the knee-high boots while I was in high school, save cowboy boots: it was more the Doc Martens Age at that point. I think my first pair of knee-high boots was purchased in 2001, and they've served me so well. Something about the tall boot just makes me feel bad-ass and yet put-together: a deadly combination.

3) Skinny jeans. I doubted the skinny jean for so long- I swore that they would certainly make my legs look lumpy and my knees knobby and generally I'd look awful, and then I converted. The transformation happened slowly: I started off with slouchy skinny jeans, and then was sucked into progressively slimmer cuts of jeans, and am now fully committed to Uniqlo skinny jeans. Will we look back on these and go "ugh, what were we thinking?" in ten years? Perhaps. But until that day, I will prance about in these, now that I realize how good this cut of jeans looks with a really good pair of heels.

2) Mid-rise and high-rise jeans. Hallelujah, the backlash to the obscene low rise has saved my brain. A higher rise means that my belly is tucked away safely behind a wall of denim, rather than spilling over the top of my pants like a life preserver. Enjoy your freedom to sit down without having your underwear exposed to the world!

1) Fascinators and all manner of be-feathered, be-netted headbands.

(this one from 1stlove on Etsy. swoon.)

Yeah, they're the ubiquitous hair accessory for a certain species of girl who attends Renegade Craft Fairs, and who secretly toyed with the idea of opening a bubble tea stand/ cupcake shop/ vegan brunch spot, and who is probably dating a drummer. And yes, you can buy them at Urban Outfitters and that's very "inauthentically vintage" and all.
SO WHAT.
You're wearing feathers (or fur or netting and bows) on your head. If that doesn't make you happy and elicit smiles and appreciative nods from passers-by, well then damn it, there is simply no hope for joy in this world. I want a world with more feathers and fur worn on a daily basis.

3 comments:

mrs.j said...

i also do not understand the appeal of vera bradley bags, or any fashion item that is super expensive but looks as if it were purchased at a craft fair in a lutheran church basement. yeah, i had a bag like that--it was wrapped around my bible when i went to church camp in the first grade.

fashioninmotion said...

Hi!
Thanks for the compliment on the Mad Men post; love that show :)

Great blog here- I'm happy to discover it!
xo
Johanne

TheSundayBest said...

Hey you did it! Sorry that we missed the...er...date.

Mullet dresses...how did I miss those?