subconscious

First in the occasional series of Things I Have Doodled At Work While On Conference Calls:
Yes, that is a manhattan plus its garnish. And yes, that is my half-assed doodle of the wifi graphic plus a martini glass.
What, like you're surprised?

shifty

Never let it be said that I am unpredictable, either in behavior or in sartorial choices. (Let's see: I see a shift dress? that is rather short? with big-ass heels? Why, that silhouette must be D!)

Can I find a way to wear yet another shroudlike garment and make it date-worthy?

Yes, apparently so. It helps when the shroud is short and has back detailing, I suppose. And when the shoes make me 6'2" tall. Actually, that might be the key to everything. As long as I'm wearing some Fuckoff Heels (symbiotic link, right there), I cannot be accused of half-stepping.

Dress, Target; tall-ass socks, American Apparel; booties, Aldo.

This is all so mall-brand and I wish I could say "oh, I just picked up this sweet vintage 60's dress at a thrift shop, it has the loveliest detail on the back of the neckline!", but dude, sometimes you are at Target at 10:00 on a Wednesday night and you see a navy blue minidress and you think "why yes, this would be perfect for my Friday night date, and at this point I don't care that it's a cheap synthetic. Ooh, look, Target has cotton balls on sale, and I need to pick up some more paper towels and shampoo and those little no-scratch felt pads for my living room chairs."

so hip it hurts

... or rather, dancing so hard that my hip hurts.

Last weekend, I danced my little brains out at the JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound concert at the Double Door, and earned myself a very sore and only partially mobile right hip in the process.

You know what? It was well worth it. I'll only regret dancing to the point of pain if my hip isn't back to full flexibility in time for this Saturday night's Windy City Soul Club dance party.

Download the self-aware-ly titled White Kids Love Soul Music mix here, and rock out.

1. "You Really Make It Good To Me", Ty Karim
2. "You", Spanky Wilson & The Quantic Soul Orchestra
3. "75 Years of Art Sex", JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound
4. "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World", James Brown
5. "Upset My Heart", Judy Clay
6. "Looking For A Woman", The Brooks Brothers
7. "How Do You Let A Good Man Down", Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings
8. "Rumour Has It", Adele
9. "Will You Be My Guy", Gloria Fowler & The Entros
10. "I Got A Woman", Ray Charles
11. "The Beat Of Our Own Drum", JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound
12. "You Know I'm No Good", Amy Winehouse
13. "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart", JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound
14. "Sunshine Of Your Love", Spanky Wilson & The Quantic Soul Orchestra

catatonic

What goes through my head when I wake up feeling like seven flavors of death and, following a five-minute struggle to stand up under my own power, admit that I am actually ill enough to call in sick to work:

"Hell. Fucking goddamn hell. Fuck you, immune system.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed."

What goes through my cat's head when I call in sick and spend the day in bed:

"HOORAY IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION! LET'S CELEBRATE BY MEOWING IN HER FACE! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! YOOOOOWL! WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING UP AND FEEDING ME, IT'S 7:00 A.M., MAYBE I SHOULD MEOW MORE."