best fest

So you say you're spending the weekend at a music festival, eh? (Not Pitchfork or Lollapalooza, you're way too indie for that, right? You keep your rocking out hyperlocal! Quick, put down your iPhone, it's bourgeois.)

What should you wear? It depends:
1) is it hot?
2) how many fucks do you give?

Grey v-neck t-shirt, Old Navy; whistle necklace, Etsy;
cutoffs, vintage; Chucks; sunglasses, Marc Jacobs.
1) it's mildly hot, but I'll live.
2) almost zero fucks.
Ensemble: it has been a bitch of a week at work, so what better to be petulant and surly in than basically the same outfit that petulant, surly teenage me would have worn?

You're just going to end up wearing sunglasses anyway, so skip the eye makeup: it'll only get smeary under your glasses and then you'll look a mess at the afterparty.

Turban, vintage; v-neck dress, Target; wedges, provenance forgotten.
1) it is HOT. Properly hot. Beer is the cooldown plan.
2) On the fucks-given scale, this is probably an 8. Three festivals to go to in one day, and the odds are moderately high that at least one of them will have a street-style photographer in attendance. Damn my vanity.
Greasy and frizzy hair? A turban is the solution! Wedges are hella good for festivals because they will make you taller than other concert-goers but also won't send you toppling over when a heel sinks into the grass. Comfortable shoes are key, guys.

Tank dress, Uniqlo; crystal skull necklace, Etsy;
wedges, Steve Madden, same Marc Jacobs sunglasses.
1) still pretty fucking hot. Cool-down plan: whiskey-horchata slushies.
2) fucks given: about 6. This is basically pajamas (dear god I love a tank dress) plus comfy wedges and lipstick. Lipstick makes it look like you tried.

Add a small cross-body bag (shoulder bags will make you want to die), sunscreen, and your plastic festival wristband, and you're set!

The Yolks


the lion sleeps tonight

You know how some people shave their heads on a whim and realize "oh no, I have a weird-shaped head!"?
It wasn't her whim, but mine to book a lion cut for the summer. And now, poor thing, Yitzhak looks like this. Insult to injury, I won't stop laughing at her. 

This is why we have pets: to torture them for our own amusement.