before it's made, our money's all been spent

No matter that I haven't actually, ehrm, done my 2009 taxes yet. Or that I might not actually get a refund this year, due to damnable circumstances involving a year-end chunk of freelance income.

No, in my mind, once I finally finish my taxes, I will end up with a refund that will immediately be applied to the purchase of a Clare Vivier bag and pouch. Or maybe several pouches.

I am trying desperately to find some way to frame this is fiscally responsible behavior on my part.

head over heels

IneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisvIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthisIneedthis.

I really, really need this to augment my collection of disembodied heads.

city of the big shoulders

Yes, I'm aware that it's going to be 90ish degrees this weekend. No, that does not stop me from lusting after this Balmain-esque Zara dress, longish sleeves be damned. As I am not a long-necked sylphlike sort, I am certainly not going to look so stunning in this dress, but I will ignore that and keep repeating "swanlike!" in my head until I've convinced myself that it is a physical reality.

helmet hair

...speaking of helmets (in which I am a total killjoy!), I've realized that my lovely trusty Bell helmet is probably more than due for a replacement: it's been 6 years, and one of the interior straps is sort of making a move to un-attach itself.

So: new helmet time! They're not blingy, or pleated, or ruffled, or any such fanciness, but they will aid in keeping my brains inside my head and off the sidewalk.

Yeah, I'm thinking of spending $100 on an accessory that isn't shoes. Commence shocked inhales.
Or, the slightly lower-priced cousin:




(psst: there's a secret, pre-adolescent part of my brain that really enjoys the futuristic/superhero aspect of bike helmets.)

don't go chasin' waterfalls

Oh, like you could've resisted the TLC reference.
(Incidentally, for a good long embarrassing time after "Waterfalls" came out, I truly thought the lyrics were "don't go, Jason: waterfalls!", as if Left Eye was warning Jason to rethink his whitewater kayaking trip, lest he meet his death plummeting over an unexpected waterfall. Shut up, I was thirteen. And, clearly, dumb.)

Um. Aside from misheard lyrics, here's the waterfall-back tank that I bought a year ago and have not really been able to figure out how to wear:

Wow, my arms seriously need moisturizer. And I need to stop
falling over and scarring the hell out of my elbows and forearms.

I cannot resist this fall of fabric in the back. However, being made of thin grey modal, and also having an extremely scooped neckline and sides, it does not really cover me, um, frontally.

Wait, let's look at the back again. How I love it!

Since the backlessness is super-low, it pretty much demands a backless undergarment option, which kills the idea of wearing a clearly-visible but purposefully fabulous bra underneath this and embracing the peepshow. I don't want to go spend $28 on a backless leotard at American Apparel just to wear with this shirt, but I might not have any other great choices. Though I suppose a backless halter leotard isn't the least useful thing I could buy, I can't quite imagine a leotard making its way into regular rotation in my wardrobe. No one thinks "practical wardrobe staple" and immediately responds with the words "backless" and "leotard", now do they?

Solve this for me, please.

fashion plates

...literally, in fact.
I ran across Style de Vie this weekend, and although I fear that the lack of listed prices means, as it always does, that I cannot afford this, I'm eyeing the following. Seriously, how charming and lovely would these be to have framed and decorating my new Chicago apartment?



These were the fancy fashion mag/streetstyle outfit shots of their day, and I so desperately want to open my closet and find that amazing green dress inside.

good day sunshine

Bless you, Endless.com, for your ability to search sunglasses by price and material and color and such. New procrastination tool, and with overnight shipping, too!

I've been making noises for a while now about wanting some new sunglasses that aren't Nicole-Richie-bug-eyes, and before reaching for my wallet, I'm going to deliberate on the following like a responsible consumer. In approximate order from least-oversized to potentially-oversized, I give you:

The A.J. Mogan "Concord", a thrilling $28



The A.J. Morgan "Feline", also cheap-o


The Rampage (yes, Rampage. Shut it.) "Jackie", twenty freaking dollars


More A.J. Morgan- the "Saxon". $28!


And the last of the Wayfarer-esques, the "Maze". $28, as is the theme here.

No, I did not type "Wayfarer" or "Ray-Ban" into the search bar. I just saved the links to everything that made me oooooooh, and damned if they aren't all (well, almost all) so very hipstery, circa 2007 or so. Hmph.

Then again, for the combined price of the five above, I could buckle down and buy the Cole Haan sunglasses I've been eyeing for some time now. I fear they will turn out to be on the unnecessarily large side, as they've got similar measurements to the "Maze" above, but I'm quite taken with them.

My priority should really be to acquire gainful employment before thinking about spending money on sunglasses when I have a perfectly good pair at home, shouldn't it? Damn you, voice of reason.

again with the half-headless models?

Either I'm feeling especially vulnerable to things marked "sale" due to my depressing lack of spring break travel (hi! still here! in Cincinnati! UGH!), or this dress is really fucking adorable. It would be a departure from my normal black wool shift dress(es)- it is navy blue, after all. And it would go especially well with those grey-beige heels that haunted me each night until I found them on clearance for $27.
And assuming I ever get a job interview (hi! potential employers! call me!), it would be a pretty excellent not-too-fussy interview dress.


Why has Urban Outfitters followed Target on the Headless Model Bandwagon? I know the merchandisers might think "but what if her bangs are distracting from the dress?", but seriously the fact that the model's head is cut off like a bad self-portrait is what's distracting me here.

art smart

"I don't know art, but I know what I like."

And in this case, I like free or cheap art. It's more than enticing- it's brilliant.
The Fine Art Adoption Network is exactly that- a site that matches artworks up for adoption with potential new owners. For free, really. (Ok, if shipping is involved, it's only right that the adopter pays for that, but seriously, FREE.) I acquired a lovely black-and-white abstract piece on vellum a few years ago, and all one has to do to adopt the art is to apply and wait to be approved by the artist. I love the idea of FAAN using a "gift economy" to get works of art out to a new audience and expand their exposure, and I really love the idea of being able to collect new original works without having to 1) pay, or 2) worry about the whole "how do I buy art?" code of transactions.
(I am kind of in love with this Teseo Fournier West piece at the moment.)

The forever-cool Laia tipped me off to 20x200. Every Tuesday and Wednesday, a new piece is introduced in limited print runs, and in various sizes. Prices start at $20 and go up to $2000, depending on the size of the piece and the number of pieces produced, and oh my god I'm going to end up with a kick-ass art collection thanks to this site. Maybe starting with this print by Carlo Van de Roer. Or Tema Stauffer's ode to Minnesota.

Oh, and if you're in the Twin Cities, you probably already know about the Minneapolis College of Art and Design's annual student art sale and have November 20-21, 2009 marked on your calendar. Race you to Azia afterwards!

arts and crafts

I found this amazing (and amazingly delicate) ribbon dress at a Cincinnati thrift store this fall. It was stained in a dozen spots across the bodice, but I bought it anyway, thinking "eh, cold water and oxiclean shouldn't be too traumatic". The stains are (mostly) removed, but in the process, this amazing ribbon fabric incurred some damage. The ribbons are woven together to create the overlay atop the satin lining, and they're fairly brittle, so the price of stain removal was some unraveling of the top layer.
My tailor refused to touch it- "that's too delicate for me to fix", he said. So I sat down with some blue thread this week and closed the gaps in the fabric with some minimal bunching- but I don't have much hope that those fixes are permanent. I'm half-expecting this dress to disintegrate off my body while I'm wearing it.
But: those stains aren't entirely eradicated. There are some brownish spots across the chest, and I know it can't stand up to a dry-cleaning (as the drycleaner, like the tailor, refused to touch it). I'm considering dyeing the dress a deeper shade of blue in the hopes it will cover the stains, but I'm not fully confident that dyeing it won't eat the ribbon away and require a bigger, more complicated repair that I'm not up to.
Should I take the chance on a bottle of true-blue dye? Or wear it as-is and hope that no one notices the browish stain positioned awkwardly in the nipple area? Or resign this dress to living under cardigans for the rest of its days?

fascinating

Due to the massive rain and some flooding in Chicago (thanks, Ike, you bastard), yesterday's trek to the Renegade Craft Fair* was... damp. Damp, occasionally raining sideways, and entirely inconvenient, as weather canceled the free Northern State show scheduled to cap off Saturday at the RCF that I'd been looking forward to all week.
Arriving with only credit cards and zero cash forced me to behave and browse rather than buy, as I figured that most vendors there would not have credit card processing ability. After stopping in the Love Lulu Mae booth, I had to grab a business card and run home to their online store to dream: fascinators!


Swoon. I was especially enamored of a pheasant-feather headband not seen on their online store, but at $60, I will have to admire from afar.

Are there really occasions in my life that call for be-feathered headbands and hair clips? Of course not. But damn it, I will acquire a fascinator and I will wear it to my Internet Marketing and PR class if I please. (And I will shrug off the inevitable, backhandedly bitchy "wow, aren't you dressed up!" comments with a sweet sweet smile and a "thank you".)


*Noah misheard "I'm going to the Renegade Craft Fair today" as "I'm going to the Renaissance Faire today". He was very skeptical of these plans.

permanent marker

The internet tells me that many, many other people in this world have literary tattoos. (However, I very much cast aspersion onto the Literary Value of that second tattoo down on the first link: really, is that first identifiable as a Palahniuk cover? Wouldn't it be most commonly associated with, say, anatomical diagrams from high school anatomy & biology? Also, from the contrariwise.org link: please never again consider Dave Matthews Band lyrics a "literary tattoo".)
The internet does seem to come up blank when faced with the search term "Joan Didion tattoo", or "Slouching Towards Bethlehem tattoo", though.

So, do you have a copy of the 1968 printing of Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem at hand? Good, because I do not. (All my books are in another state at this time, and I am not about to drive seven hours to scan a page to illustrate my point.) Turn to the first story, "Some Dreamers of the Golden Dream". See that beautiful inky graphic that is the chapter heading graphic? Yes, that's what I have dreamt of for ten years now as a potential tattoo. In fact, that's the only thing I've ever dreamt of as a tattoo.


Will I ever really go for it and get this inked on my breastbone? Perhaps. Slouching Towards Bethlehem is one of the very first books I read that made me gasp and realize what, exactly, great writing can do to a reader. And really, if someone can make the decision to get something in fucking Elvish permanently affixed to their skin, I think Joan Didion will prove the far saner choice.